I am taking this opportunity to announce to the entire world that I have officially lost my mind. Several friends are visiting me over the course of November, and like a good little person with OCD, or a good little Swiss person, I dutifully marked their visits on my calendar, making sure that each one had their own weekend so that they could have my undivided attention. This past weekend, my friend Jon was coming, next weekend, my friend Liwei, and over Thanksgiving, my friend Charles. Excellent. So I get a voicemail Thursday night, asking if it's possible to get into my apartment during the day on Friday and to meet up later that night. From LIWEI. I check my calendar, and she's not coming until next weekend. I check my emails, and she definitely said this weekend. So I was just retarded. So Liwei and Jon graciously agreed to share the weekend without killing me or each other. Whew, disaster averted.
Liwei and I had fondue and wine for dinner on Friday, once I got out of work. Alcohol and dairy, two things that don't usually rank high in an Asian diet, for various reasons, Asian blush and lactose intolerance among them... Haha...
So then on Saturday night, I went to a water park. Yes, a water park, even though the temperature was right around freezing. I thought it was an insane idea, as well, but all of the slides and rides are indoors, and the water is heated, so that it stays open year-round. Then there are thermal baths that are outside, so your entire body is warm, and your face is freezing. A few observations:
Don't wear a swimsuit that has white parts if you're going to sit in a pool of iodine-infused water. It turns your swimsuit yellow. And then, if you ask a Swiss attendant how to get iodine out of a white swimsuit, she will say, "Don't wear it into the iodine pool." Thank you, that was helpful. Unfortunately, the damage is done, and I am asking for remedial measures, rather than preventative ones.
The Swiss are clearly not as litigious as Americans, and I am definitely a lawyer. I was walking around the entire night spotting examples of potential liability. The iodine pool has a sign that says, "Don't get into the iodine pool if you have iodine sensitivity," which seems like a liability-reducer, except that it is posted at the far end of the pool, and to read it, you have to get into the pool and go to the other side. Too little, too late. There were no American-style signs saying, "Caution, floor may be wet," "Walk, don't run," "Children should not be left unattended," "Wet surfaces may be slippery," or other similarly obvious but necessary warnings. The floors were tile, rather than rubber mats. Children wandered around alone at will. There were no attendants at the top of each slide to tell you when to go and when to wait, or to say if you were too short, or too heavy, or whatnot. Instead, the park guests were expected to read the instructions and judge for themselves (never let them do that, because they will do it wrong and then sue, I was thinking). One particularly helpful sign said something like, "Children under a certain age should not go on this ride." Um... details, please? What age, or at least what weight or height are you looking for here?
Outside of the water park, Switzerland is similarly blithely unaware of all of the potential lawsuits lurking on crumbling staircases with no guardrails, or waiting in coffee cups that don't indicate that contents may be hot. A lot of plastic bags don't tell you that they are not toys, and that children may suffocate on them, and the tram stops don't tell you to watch out for approaching trams. It is only upon entering little embassies of American lawsuit culture, such as McDonald's and Starbuck's, that you are reminded of such dangers. I don't know what is more entertaining, actually: seeing these warnings against stupidity, or trying to figure out where the anti-stupidity warnings should be posted.
Speaking of Starbuck's, there are about seven in Zurich, I think, which is the densest Starbuck's concentration in Switzerland. Imagine a Manhattan where you can walk 10 blocks and not see a Starbuck's. Instead, here we seem to have lots and lots of banks and private equity firms, with some shoe stores thrown in.
Liwei and I had fondue and wine for dinner on Friday, once I got out of work. Alcohol and dairy, two things that don't usually rank high in an Asian diet, for various reasons, Asian blush and lactose intolerance among them... Haha...
So then on Saturday night, I went to a water park. Yes, a water park, even though the temperature was right around freezing. I thought it was an insane idea, as well, but all of the slides and rides are indoors, and the water is heated, so that it stays open year-round. Then there are thermal baths that are outside, so your entire body is warm, and your face is freezing. A few observations:
Don't wear a swimsuit that has white parts if you're going to sit in a pool of iodine-infused water. It turns your swimsuit yellow. And then, if you ask a Swiss attendant how to get iodine out of a white swimsuit, she will say, "Don't wear it into the iodine pool." Thank you, that was helpful. Unfortunately, the damage is done, and I am asking for remedial measures, rather than preventative ones.
The Swiss are clearly not as litigious as Americans, and I am definitely a lawyer. I was walking around the entire night spotting examples of potential liability. The iodine pool has a sign that says, "Don't get into the iodine pool if you have iodine sensitivity," which seems like a liability-reducer, except that it is posted at the far end of the pool, and to read it, you have to get into the pool and go to the other side. Too little, too late. There were no American-style signs saying, "Caution, floor may be wet," "Walk, don't run," "Children should not be left unattended," "Wet surfaces may be slippery," or other similarly obvious but necessary warnings. The floors were tile, rather than rubber mats. Children wandered around alone at will. There were no attendants at the top of each slide to tell you when to go and when to wait, or to say if you were too short, or too heavy, or whatnot. Instead, the park guests were expected to read the instructions and judge for themselves (never let them do that, because they will do it wrong and then sue, I was thinking). One particularly helpful sign said something like, "Children under a certain age should not go on this ride." Um... details, please? What age, or at least what weight or height are you looking for here?
Outside of the water park, Switzerland is similarly blithely unaware of all of the potential lawsuits lurking on crumbling staircases with no guardrails, or waiting in coffee cups that don't indicate that contents may be hot. A lot of plastic bags don't tell you that they are not toys, and that children may suffocate on them, and the tram stops don't tell you to watch out for approaching trams. It is only upon entering little embassies of American lawsuit culture, such as McDonald's and Starbuck's, that you are reminded of such dangers. I don't know what is more entertaining, actually: seeing these warnings against stupidity, or trying to figure out where the anti-stupidity warnings should be posted.
Speaking of Starbuck's, there are about seven in Zurich, I think, which is the densest Starbuck's concentration in Switzerland. Imagine a Manhattan where you can walk 10 blocks and not see a Starbuck's. Instead, here we seem to have lots and lots of banks and private equity firms, with some shoe stores thrown in.
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