So I had always thought that no one could out-polite us Asians. Think of the simultaneous stereotypes of the smiling, bowing, gracious Asian, and listen to how much weight Asian parents give to addressing people in the proper way, bringing the right gift to someone’s house, holding your chopsticks just so, giving and deflecting compliments, and you will start to understand what I mean. However, I have discovered that there is a place where the people are just as etiquette-conscious, and that place is Switzerland. I think they might be Asians in disguise.
Example 1: When having a drink with friends or acquaintances, you have to stop, clink glasses, and make serious eye contact with each and every person you are with, even if that group is 12 people. And this has to happen every time someone gets a new drink. So much for a quick round of shots.
Example 2: When writing an SMS, it is considered quite impolite to say something like, “When are we mtg tomorrow?” Instead, you have to sit there and type away on your phone, something more along these lines, “Hello, Billy Bob, how are you? I was wondering what time would be good for you to meet tomorrow? Hope you are well!! Bye, Angela.” So much for the “S” part of SMS.
Example 3: Don’t even think of picking up your fork before saying, “En guete” or “Bon appetit,” even if you’re just having fast food.
Example 4: Don’t answer the phone by saying “Hello,” use your name, because otherwise, your caller won’t know whom they are calling. Even though they called you in the first place. No calling after 9 p.m., because people might be asleep.
However, I also think that part of the way they make it look like they are so fastidious about the rules of etiquette is that they use a completely different set of rules, which makes it harder for outsiders to learn and understand them, and easier for the Swiss to make us look completely clueless and rude, which we very well might be, but not always knowingly.
For instance, they don’t have the rule about not eating the last piece of food on a serving plate, but there is a whole litany of rules regarding how bread works. Bread that is shaped a certain way is not free, even though it is brought out and placed on the table at the beginning of a meal. Bread that is placed in the center of the table is not necessarily for everyone at the table; and may only be intended for one person, depending on what people ordered.
Anyways... despite the fact that I am finding endless differences and quirks to amuse me, Fiver has settled down as if this is the only place he has ever lived in his entire life. Dogs can go anywhere, just about -- bars, restaurants, shops -- my office has four dogs, as well. Fiver is fine with that. He has developed quite a little attitude since getting here.
When we lived in New York, Fiver was used to being left home alone all day, every day, while I was at work. He would make his little martyr face, but he would deal with it pretty well.
Since getting here, he has developed delusions of grandeur and supreme importance. He loves coming to the office, but makes me coax him out of bed before he will get up. He eats anything and everything he can find, and always has dog food on hand (on paw?) but he begs *shamelessly* from friends and strangers alike. He made such pathetic faces at some woman in the street that she handed me half a loaf of bread and repeated several times that it was for my dog, as if Fiver were some poor, starved, and abused animal. If I leave him at home alone, he will bark at me when I come back, then ignore me for a little while, and then *allow* me to pet him in a benevolent act of forgiveness.
He was stung by a bee, which shocked him to no end, and made his foot swell and hurt. Once it had stopped hurting (and I know it did, because he was running around chasing his butt), he continued limping whenever he knew I was looking, to get more attention and treats. Silly Fiver.
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