Tuesday, March 14, 2006

14 March 2006

Ah, spring, when law-abiding citizens' thoughts turn to taxes... For Americans, one good thing about living in Switzerland is that we get to take advantage of lower tax rates (someone who pays 40% in the U.S. would pay about 10% in Switzerland). Uncle Sam doesn't give the taxes up without a fight. All American citizens, no matter where they live, what they do, or how much they earn, have to file U.S. income taxes every year. So even if you're living in the middle of the desert, making no money, and eating scorpions and cacti to stay alive, you still have to file.

Doing that requires lots of paperwork and currency conversions. Count the number of days you were in different countries, not a small feat considering the amount of travel that fits into generous Swiss vacation plans. Call five government offices at strange hours to take into account the time difference and government office hours, going through endless voice prompts, heinous hold music, and bored employees to get conflicting opinions on whether a deduction applies. Figure out what documentation will suffice to prove that you made money but that you don't owe any taxes. Spend more time on your taxes than ever before, all for the net effect of not paying any taxes. It's probably worth the extra time and effort, if the endless paperwork doesn't drive you mad first.

Joy of joys, you also have Swiss taxes to deal with. Yes, you're a foreigner, so they tax you at source so you won't bolt without paying your taxes. (They don't trust us, and have all sorts of deposits and security measures built in, because they seem to genuinely suspect that we will leave our jobs, apartments, and bank accounts just to avoid paying our cell phone bills, taxes, and DSL bills). And yes, they are probably over-taxing you. But if you make enough money, they still "invite" you to file taxes, whether or not you want to go to that party (Swiss people only file taxes when "invited," meaning that if they receive a big packet of tax forms, they file taxes within two months, but if not, they don't have to worry about it). The forms are all in different colors, with two copies of each form, and every form is in German, to make taxes even more fun, especially considering that their forms and deductions are different than the ones in the States. There are deductions for clothes, there are deductions for lunch, there are deductions for tram passes. They ask you about your accounts, in Switzerland and elsewhere. They ask you what religion you are, and they take more tax out for your church. And then they ask you for things that just don't really translate between tax systems, and you fill them in and hope for the best.

One strange thing about Swiss tax forms is that there is no final number, no tallying up of figures to see who owes whom. You just send it in, and they eventually tell you who owes whom what. Whoever owes money pays interest, which they calculate carefully, being accounting masters. Oddly enough, despite being so precise and punctual in every other aspect of public regulation, the Swiss IRS are slow. It takes two years to process tax forms, so taxes filed in 2005 for the 2004 tax year won't be done until 2007.

Foreigners moving to Switzerland get an automatic six-month extension on their first tax invitation. The first tax invitation may not be initially due until May, meaning that the extension goes until November. So American expats do their U.S. taxes whenever they're due, and they plow through their Swiss tax forms and hand them in in November with a sigh of relief, then receive their next Swiss tax invitation in January, with a March due date, on top of their next set of American taxes, and feel that it is indeed true that the only sure things in life are death and taxes. Lots of taxes. Well, actually, not as much tax as before, but at the cost of extra frustration and stress, which probably takes years off of your life. Yup, the only sure things are death and taxes. At least you only have to die once.

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