In a rare spate of motivation, I have been going to the gym quite regularly as of late. In fact, my workout buddy and I have been going every other day since getting back from the States. Granted, our workouts are generally about 20 minutes long, and involve as much talking as actual working out, but it's the thought that counts, right? Also, we have to do something to combat the cheese fondue and chocolate mousse with heavy cream that dominate the Swiss winter diet. Plus, we need an excuse to justify our frequent trips to the Turkish baths at the gym, where we spend much more than 20 minutes, and probably get almost as much exercise scrubbing ourselves and walking from sauna to sauna as we do when we work out.
In any case, the Swiss gym experience, much like the Swiss experience in general, is quite unique. First of all, there is the question of attire. In American gyms, I have seen signs requesting that people not wear black-soled dress shoes in the gym, which made sense, as they tend to mark up wooden floors. Here, the gym requests that you not wear any shoes that you have worn outdoors. Only indoor shoes are allowed at the gym. I was rather baffled by this request. Do they think that I'll wear my gym clothes and my outdoor trainers to the gym, then change into my indoor trainers there? Actually, do they think I even have indoor trainers? Do the Swiss all have indoor trainers? Maybe it's best not to know.
The clothes that people wear to the gym here can be quite astonishing. Whether they're wearing indoor or outdoor shoes, the Swiss often wear black socks pulled all the way up, possibly to cover up some of their legs, since their shorts are often on the skimpy side. Men show up in ultra-short shorts, or shorts that are not quite tight, not quite loose, but that uncomfortable in-between territory. We saw one man working out in his boxers. Other men wear pants in colors that should be reserved for sherbet: orange, pink, mauve, lime green. We saw one man yesterday wearing what I can only describe as Hammer pants (you remember Hammer pants, don't you? Fitted at the waist and ankles, and poufy in between?). His Hammer pants were bright yellow with black pinstripes, and his shoes (because the shoes have to match) were bright yellow with black trim. From waist up, he was a macho beefcake, and from waist down, he was the lovechild of a has-been rapper and Bozo the Clown.
There is one woman in particular that I keep an eye out for whenever we go to the gym. She is at least 50 years old, and she always wears black tights with a fitted black t-shirt, a thong leotard, and matching legwarmers. Sometimes she wears knee-high legwarmers, sometimes thigh-high, and sometimes knee-highs over thigh-highs. She is always coordinated: turquoise thong leotard with turquoise knee-high legwarmers; pink thong leotard with pink thigh-high legwarmers; teal thong leotard with charcoal-grey thigh-high legwarmers with teal pinstripes layered under knee-high teal legwarmers. Our gym is heated. You can work up a sweat in a t-shirt and shorts, even in winter, so she can't be cold. My only explanation is that she wears the gear for aesthetic reasons. I never thought that double legwarmers and thong leotards on middle-aged women would be associated with an aesthetic preference.
One final Swiss gym observation: during a quick stint on the elliptical machine, I glanced around and saw the usual assortment of people with water bottles, MP3 players, and magazines. But the man next to me had what appeared to be a large bottle of milk in his cup holder. (I suppose it could also have been a protein shake, but that's almost as strange, since those aren't exactly refreshing, either). Who drinks milk while working out? Yes, it does a body good, but it's not the drink of choice for a workout. You don't see football teams drinking coolers of milk and pouring it over their heads. They don't hand marathon runners cups of milk along the way. Only in Switzerland...
In any case, the Swiss gym experience, much like the Swiss experience in general, is quite unique. First of all, there is the question of attire. In American gyms, I have seen signs requesting that people not wear black-soled dress shoes in the gym, which made sense, as they tend to mark up wooden floors. Here, the gym requests that you not wear any shoes that you have worn outdoors. Only indoor shoes are allowed at the gym. I was rather baffled by this request. Do they think that I'll wear my gym clothes and my outdoor trainers to the gym, then change into my indoor trainers there? Actually, do they think I even have indoor trainers? Do the Swiss all have indoor trainers? Maybe it's best not to know.
The clothes that people wear to the gym here can be quite astonishing. Whether they're wearing indoor or outdoor shoes, the Swiss often wear black socks pulled all the way up, possibly to cover up some of their legs, since their shorts are often on the skimpy side. Men show up in ultra-short shorts, or shorts that are not quite tight, not quite loose, but that uncomfortable in-between territory. We saw one man working out in his boxers. Other men wear pants in colors that should be reserved for sherbet: orange, pink, mauve, lime green. We saw one man yesterday wearing what I can only describe as Hammer pants (you remember Hammer pants, don't you? Fitted at the waist and ankles, and poufy in between?). His Hammer pants were bright yellow with black pinstripes, and his shoes (because the shoes have to match) were bright yellow with black trim. From waist up, he was a macho beefcake, and from waist down, he was the lovechild of a has-been rapper and Bozo the Clown.
There is one woman in particular that I keep an eye out for whenever we go to the gym. She is at least 50 years old, and she always wears black tights with a fitted black t-shirt, a thong leotard, and matching legwarmers. Sometimes she wears knee-high legwarmers, sometimes thigh-high, and sometimes knee-highs over thigh-highs. She is always coordinated: turquoise thong leotard with turquoise knee-high legwarmers; pink thong leotard with pink thigh-high legwarmers; teal thong leotard with charcoal-grey thigh-high legwarmers with teal pinstripes layered under knee-high teal legwarmers. Our gym is heated. You can work up a sweat in a t-shirt and shorts, even in winter, so she can't be cold. My only explanation is that she wears the gear for aesthetic reasons. I never thought that double legwarmers and thong leotards on middle-aged women would be associated with an aesthetic preference.
One final Swiss gym observation: during a quick stint on the elliptical machine, I glanced around and saw the usual assortment of people with water bottles, MP3 players, and magazines. But the man next to me had what appeared to be a large bottle of milk in his cup holder. (I suppose it could also have been a protein shake, but that's almost as strange, since those aren't exactly refreshing, either). Who drinks milk while working out? Yes, it does a body good, but it's not the drink of choice for a workout. You don't see football teams drinking coolers of milk and pouring it over their heads. They don't hand marathon runners cups of milk along the way. Only in Switzerland...
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