Halloween is coming up, so we’re making plans for this very American tradition. As of now, our plans are unconventional, by both American and Swiss standards. My friends and I are planning on celebrating Halloween on Saturday the 29th, since it would be difficult to celebrate on Halloween night and get into work the next day. The pitfalls of being an adult. In any case, we’re planning on dressing up in a country that doesn’t really observe Halloween, on a day that isn’t even Halloween, and going out to a club, where our costumes are sure to raise some eyebrows. Especially since our theme is “Pimps and Heroes,” rather than “Pimps and Hos,” meaning that we can dress up either as pimps or as superheroes, with the additional restriction that we can only spend about $15 on our costumes. I’m expecting some rather interesting homegrown superheroes, like Captain Toilet Plunger or The Cheese Grater.
Thanksgiving is also on the horizon. That weekend is not a holiday weekend here, so expats are split as to whether the holiday should be observed on Thursday, as intended, or on Saturday, when people actually have the day off to cook, eat, and go into food coma for a day. An added twist is the bird flu that is making its way across Europe. I’m wondering if we should get a turkey, perhaps with a side of pandemic, out of respect for tradition, or if we should try for a pork roast or steaks, instead. Ever since this bird flu scare has started up, I’ve been giving an especially evil eye to the local pigeons and swans. Apparently, bird flu is most easily transmitted through the handling of bird droppings or feathers. I don’t usually go out of my way to play with bird poo, nor do I pluck birds very often, but I’m just waiting for the Evil Infected Pigeon of Death to drop a load on me as I’m walking to work.
Speaking of being sick, I remember growing up and reading about various kinds of food poisoning. Cook your eggs and poultry, or you might get salmonella. Don’t eat raw pork, or you’ll get trichinosis. And then there was one called candida, which can cause something called “leaky gut syndrome,” which sounds anything but pleasant. Imagine my surprise, then, when I discovered that Candida is the brand name for a popular toothpaste in Switzerland. Now, I understand that it’s difficult to find brand names that are acceptable in every language, but it might be best to avoid the Latin-based names for diseases when naming oral hygiene products? I’m no marketing expert, but that seems pretty basic.
Something that has been irritating me lately is that it’s very difficult as a foreigner to do things like get a cell phone contract or a movie rental card. Unless you’re a permanent resident, most businesses and companies refuse to give you anything resembling an ongoing contract or membership status, opting instead to do pay-as-you-go plans (for cell phones) or sorry-no-foreigners plans (for video rentals). Do they really think that I’ll flee the country in the middle of the night, leaving my steady job and large apartment security deposit behind, just to avoid paying a $5 fine on a late video rental? Apparently they do. OK, yes, I’m a lawyer, yes, I’m American, and yes, I have those shifty, slanty eyes that come with the yellow skin I’m in, but I can sometimes be trusted with small things, Scout’s honor.
Swiss Airlines, my new nemesis (and doesn’t everyone need a nemesis?) recently posted a “Special Offer” on their site for fares to Hong Kong. I have friends in Hong Kong, and I like to travel, so I checked it out. There were some restrictions, like requiring a Saturday night stay, with a maximum stay of one month. Bookings were available through December. OK, sounds good, how much? Including taxes and fees, a round-trip economy class ticket would cost over $8,200, and they even had the chutzpah to label it as a “Best Price.” Other airlines were not making any special offers or giving best prices, but were instead selling tickets for about $1,300. But I’m sure it’s worth it. For only $8,200, you can fly direct to Hong Kong and bring bird flu back for you and all of your friends!
Thanksgiving is also on the horizon. That weekend is not a holiday weekend here, so expats are split as to whether the holiday should be observed on Thursday, as intended, or on Saturday, when people actually have the day off to cook, eat, and go into food coma for a day. An added twist is the bird flu that is making its way across Europe. I’m wondering if we should get a turkey, perhaps with a side of pandemic, out of respect for tradition, or if we should try for a pork roast or steaks, instead. Ever since this bird flu scare has started up, I’ve been giving an especially evil eye to the local pigeons and swans. Apparently, bird flu is most easily transmitted through the handling of bird droppings or feathers. I don’t usually go out of my way to play with bird poo, nor do I pluck birds very often, but I’m just waiting for the Evil Infected Pigeon of Death to drop a load on me as I’m walking to work.
Speaking of being sick, I remember growing up and reading about various kinds of food poisoning. Cook your eggs and poultry, or you might get salmonella. Don’t eat raw pork, or you’ll get trichinosis. And then there was one called candida, which can cause something called “leaky gut syndrome,” which sounds anything but pleasant. Imagine my surprise, then, when I discovered that Candida is the brand name for a popular toothpaste in Switzerland. Now, I understand that it’s difficult to find brand names that are acceptable in every language, but it might be best to avoid the Latin-based names for diseases when naming oral hygiene products? I’m no marketing expert, but that seems pretty basic.
Something that has been irritating me lately is that it’s very difficult as a foreigner to do things like get a cell phone contract or a movie rental card. Unless you’re a permanent resident, most businesses and companies refuse to give you anything resembling an ongoing contract or membership status, opting instead to do pay-as-you-go plans (for cell phones) or sorry-no-foreigners plans (for video rentals). Do they really think that I’ll flee the country in the middle of the night, leaving my steady job and large apartment security deposit behind, just to avoid paying a $5 fine on a late video rental? Apparently they do. OK, yes, I’m a lawyer, yes, I’m American, and yes, I have those shifty, slanty eyes that come with the yellow skin I’m in, but I can sometimes be trusted with small things, Scout’s honor.
Swiss Airlines, my new nemesis (and doesn’t everyone need a nemesis?) recently posted a “Special Offer” on their site for fares to Hong Kong. I have friends in Hong Kong, and I like to travel, so I checked it out. There were some restrictions, like requiring a Saturday night stay, with a maximum stay of one month. Bookings were available through December. OK, sounds good, how much? Including taxes and fees, a round-trip economy class ticket would cost over $8,200, and they even had the chutzpah to label it as a “Best Price.” Other airlines were not making any special offers or giving best prices, but were instead selling tickets for about $1,300. But I’m sure it’s worth it. For only $8,200, you can fly direct to Hong Kong and bring bird flu back for you and all of your friends!
No comments:
Post a Comment