Oh, Street Parade, what would Zurich be like without you? When else would normally straight-laced Swiss trash-baggers, rules-followers, early-to-bedders, noise-haters, and clothes-wearers be able to throw trash in the street, break all the rules, stay up late, make lots of noise, and run around in various states of undress? Maybe every society requires a certain amount of each of these things, and the Swiss, efficient as always, prefer to get it all over with in one big bash. My second Street Parade was less shocking than the first, although I still found much of it to be amusing, and I was often much bemused. Where to begin?
Nudity. It's so strange to walk through Zurich seeing people dressed (or undressed) as sexed-up cavemen, or sexed-up devils, or sexed-up something or others, and trying to imagine what they wear in real life. Maybe that woman who is wearing nothing but body paint and shoes usually wears high-waisted jeans with floral shirts. Maybe that man in the codpiece wears man-pris (my term for those capri pants for men that Europeans favor) with white socks and dress shoes. I bet that couple in faux fur and chains usually wear pleated pants and Birkenstocks. Seriously, looking around the city during Street Parade has the shock value of walking in on your middle-aged accountant surfing goat porn on the Internet. And then when he sees you, he proceeds to use the lamest pick-up lines ever coined in the history of mankind. (Two of my favorites from Saturday: "Did you go to Street Parade?" Um, no, I'm wearing devil horns and silver eyelashes and wandering around downtown Zurich at 2 a.m. to go to church. "Why are you wearing horns when you're an angel?" Uh, because that's what I was able to find in the store?)
Other things… Trash. It's everywhere – in the river, on the street, in the tram tracks, in doorways, on sidewalks. One mystery is how the Swiss are able to bring themselves to throw trash on the ground like that, when they are normally so fastidious about such matters. The greater mystery is how a city-wide carpet of trash can completely disappear by the next morning. Noise. Zurich goes from the quietest city in the world to the loudest city in the galaxy, just for one day. Your clothes (if you are wearing any) literally shake on your body, and the techno can seem loud even with earplugs on. Crowds. Zurich usually has a population of about 340,000, spread out over numerous neighborhoods. For Street Parade, 1,000,000 people crowd into downtown Zurich, mostly on or around one main bridge. How do all these people fit in such a small space? Where do they come from? Where do they go? Yes, they all go to after parties, and some of them go to the after-party in the train station, which is packed by late-night, standing room only, with lasers, fog machines, big banks of speakers, and neon lights. Imagine coming in on a train, not knowing about Street Parade, and arriving in the midst of such bedlam.
Ah, this year's slogan was "Today Is Tomorrow," which is really quite lame. Much better, in my opinion, was the Brazilian Jesus Parade (a group of Christian Brazilians who play drums and march around at the Street Parade opposing drugs and pushing Jesus). Evidently inspired by "Today Is Tomorrow," they had a big banner that proclaimed, "Tomorrow Must Be Now With Jesus," which reminded me of Japanese stationery, Chinese instruction manuals, and countless other sources of linguistic amusement.
Speaking of drugs, they are closely tied into the Street Parade tradition. If I had to explain Street Parade in one sentence, I would have to say that it's a big techno festival where Swiss people wear crazy costumes, listen to loud music, take lots of drugs, celebrate free love, and party all night. There are dozens of ambulances standing by for the overdoses, and there were sirens going all night. The openness and accessibility is rather stupefying. People bring out huge tanks of nitrous and boxes of balloons, and they deal out whipits in the street. Pot dealers print up business cards with their phone numbers and working hours, promising to deliver to your door. And here we were thinking that Switzerland was buttoned-down, prim and proper. Well, it is, usually. Just not during Street Parade.
Nudity. It's so strange to walk through Zurich seeing people dressed (or undressed) as sexed-up cavemen, or sexed-up devils, or sexed-up something or others, and trying to imagine what they wear in real life. Maybe that woman who is wearing nothing but body paint and shoes usually wears high-waisted jeans with floral shirts. Maybe that man in the codpiece wears man-pris (my term for those capri pants for men that Europeans favor) with white socks and dress shoes. I bet that couple in faux fur and chains usually wear pleated pants and Birkenstocks. Seriously, looking around the city during Street Parade has the shock value of walking in on your middle-aged accountant surfing goat porn on the Internet. And then when he sees you, he proceeds to use the lamest pick-up lines ever coined in the history of mankind. (Two of my favorites from Saturday: "Did you go to Street Parade?" Um, no, I'm wearing devil horns and silver eyelashes and wandering around downtown Zurich at 2 a.m. to go to church. "Why are you wearing horns when you're an angel?" Uh, because that's what I was able to find in the store?)
Other things… Trash. It's everywhere – in the river, on the street, in the tram tracks, in doorways, on sidewalks. One mystery is how the Swiss are able to bring themselves to throw trash on the ground like that, when they are normally so fastidious about such matters. The greater mystery is how a city-wide carpet of trash can completely disappear by the next morning. Noise. Zurich goes from the quietest city in the world to the loudest city in the galaxy, just for one day. Your clothes (if you are wearing any) literally shake on your body, and the techno can seem loud even with earplugs on. Crowds. Zurich usually has a population of about 340,000, spread out over numerous neighborhoods. For Street Parade, 1,000,000 people crowd into downtown Zurich, mostly on or around one main bridge. How do all these people fit in such a small space? Where do they come from? Where do they go? Yes, they all go to after parties, and some of them go to the after-party in the train station, which is packed by late-night, standing room only, with lasers, fog machines, big banks of speakers, and neon lights. Imagine coming in on a train, not knowing about Street Parade, and arriving in the midst of such bedlam.
Ah, this year's slogan was "Today Is Tomorrow," which is really quite lame. Much better, in my opinion, was the Brazilian Jesus Parade (a group of Christian Brazilians who play drums and march around at the Street Parade opposing drugs and pushing Jesus). Evidently inspired by "Today Is Tomorrow," they had a big banner that proclaimed, "Tomorrow Must Be Now With Jesus," which reminded me of Japanese stationery, Chinese instruction manuals, and countless other sources of linguistic amusement.
Speaking of drugs, they are closely tied into the Street Parade tradition. If I had to explain Street Parade in one sentence, I would have to say that it's a big techno festival where Swiss people wear crazy costumes, listen to loud music, take lots of drugs, celebrate free love, and party all night. There are dozens of ambulances standing by for the overdoses, and there were sirens going all night. The openness and accessibility is rather stupefying. People bring out huge tanks of nitrous and boxes of balloons, and they deal out whipits in the street. Pot dealers print up business cards with their phone numbers and working hours, promising to deliver to your door. And here we were thinking that Switzerland was buttoned-down, prim and proper. Well, it is, usually. Just not during Street Parade.
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