Welcome to Switzerland. Sometimes when you look around, you may feel like you are Dorothy, and you have somehow ended up in the Land of Oz, surrounded by miniature versions of everything, things that seem vaguely familiar but somehow different, and strangely-dressed people that jabber at you in funny voices while welcoming you to Munchkinland. But you’re in Switzerland, and although the people are strangely dressed and jabbering at you, they are most likely not welcoming you to Munchkinland, but informing you instead of some rule that you have broken by landing your house on top of their witch, since house-landing is probably only permitted on alternate Tuesdays with a permit and a supervisory police force present, and house-landing on witches, I imagine, is strictly forbidden, especially if you then take the witch's sparkly red shoes, which were probably made by Adidas and intended for men, seeing as this is Switzerland..
You will notice that things here really are completely miniaturized, especially compared to the land of the Super Size. People fold themselves into cars that make VW Bugs look capacious. They drink their sodas in glasses that would usually be used for whiskey. They buy their milk by the half-liter or liter. They put their trash out in kitchen-sized garbage bags, in streets that are too narrow to have one lane of traffic, let alone two. They buy their chicken breasts one at a time.
You will see some familiar sights, such as Starbuck’s and McDonald’s, but take a closer look. Things are still a little bit off-kilter. Take a look at the menu in McDonald’s. Yes, the ubiquitous Big Macs and fries are there, but what are Choco Balls? (Breaded, deep-fried wads of McNutella). What about McShrimp? (Breaded, deep fried shrimp). And when did McDonald’s add strawberry cream pie (also deep-fried, is there a trend here...) to their menu? Do American McDonald’s also have “Asian Weeks,” where they offer everything with a glop of teriyaki sauce on top? It also seems unlikely that McFondue, available in the mountains here, is served in the original McDonald’s.
Does it seem like everything is moving in slow motion? Are you in a strange dream sequence? No, but apparently the Swiss are constantly engaged in a “who can walk slower” contest that non-Swiss are not privy to. There is no other way to explain why so few people can clog the sidewalks so effectively, no matter what time of day or what part of town it is. They are masters of inefficient sidewalk usage, and you have to appreciate, on some level, the seemingly blissfully unaware miens that they maintain while practicing this skill. They walk in pairs and trios, sweeping slowly down the sidewalk, or they walk alone, with unpredictable pauses. They meander from side to side, pinging and ponging off the margins of the walkway, or they just take the old-school approach of shuffling along at the pace of a disabled snail.
You will notice that things here really are completely miniaturized, especially compared to the land of the Super Size. People fold themselves into cars that make VW Bugs look capacious. They drink their sodas in glasses that would usually be used for whiskey. They buy their milk by the half-liter or liter. They put their trash out in kitchen-sized garbage bags, in streets that are too narrow to have one lane of traffic, let alone two. They buy their chicken breasts one at a time.
You will see some familiar sights, such as Starbuck’s and McDonald’s, but take a closer look. Things are still a little bit off-kilter. Take a look at the menu in McDonald’s. Yes, the ubiquitous Big Macs and fries are there, but what are Choco Balls? (Breaded, deep-fried wads of McNutella). What about McShrimp? (Breaded, deep fried shrimp). And when did McDonald’s add strawberry cream pie (also deep-fried, is there a trend here...) to their menu? Do American McDonald’s also have “Asian Weeks,” where they offer everything with a glop of teriyaki sauce on top? It also seems unlikely that McFondue, available in the mountains here, is served in the original McDonald’s.
Does it seem like everything is moving in slow motion? Are you in a strange dream sequence? No, but apparently the Swiss are constantly engaged in a “who can walk slower” contest that non-Swiss are not privy to. There is no other way to explain why so few people can clog the sidewalks so effectively, no matter what time of day or what part of town it is. They are masters of inefficient sidewalk usage, and you have to appreciate, on some level, the seemingly blissfully unaware miens that they maintain while practicing this skill. They walk in pairs and trios, sweeping slowly down the sidewalk, or they walk alone, with unpredictable pauses. They meander from side to side, pinging and ponging off the margins of the walkway, or they just take the old-school approach of shuffling along at the pace of a disabled snail.
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